NIAW

I almost missed National Infertility Awareness Week (04/25/09-5/02/09). It's not really something I was looking forward to and I didn't know there was such until I got an email from Becky advising me not to watch the video on Kelly's Korner while I was at work. I don't normally blog-stalk this site but I just had to see what Becky was talking about. She was right, I couldn't have watched the video at work. I hope and pray that none of you are celebrating this week with me but if you are my heart and prayers go out to you. And a BIG THANKS to all of you who have supported, are supporting, and will continue to support me.

In honor of NIAW, here are a few facts from RESOLVE:

Infertility 101: Get the facts

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.
Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!
Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.
Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!
Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility. Education is key to finding resolution.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!
Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.
Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!
Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.
Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.
Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.
A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!
Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

211 miles

Weekend went well. Hope everyone had a good Confederate Memorial Day. Brad and Adam finished the tournament in 10th place. Not too bad considering there were 55 boats, but they still didn't win any money. I worked on Mama's flowerbed Sunday but certainly didn't finish it. We still have more stones to take down before we can do anything else.

Monday was a long day...211 miles worth (that's almost enough to get me to Becky's). Labs at 7:45am, ultrasound at 8:45am, shopping at Sam's, to Troy for shots, to ballgame in Highland, and back to Montgomery to pick up my (hopefully) last shot. I finally made it home about 10pm. My E2 level was at 875 which is great and my biggest follicle was at 1.99 cm. GREAT! So this morning I took my Ovidrel shot. Homework, homework, homework.

I was told that if my body does what it's supposed to do and I'm not pregnant at the end of this cycle them "someone" will have to have...semen analysis. Oh and let me tell you how excited he is about it. Of course none of this is anything anyone ever looks forward to.

I'll leave you with a few snapshots of Kelsi playing ball. They won their first game 9-5 but lost the second 12-6.

Not quite there yet

I was misquoted my E2 level from Monday; it was actually 43 which is pretty low. Friday it had jumped to 312 but it's still not where it should be. The ultrasound showed 4 total follies that are big enough to count. Two on the left side at 1.0 and 1.2 cm and two on the right at 1.5 cm each. The ones on the right aren't too shabby but still should be bigger. So I have been told to continue my Follistim shots thru the weekend and come back Monday for blood work and u/s to see if it's any better. FL's going with me!

Susan, I've asked about it being so hard to find my ovaries on the u/s --the tech's shoulder cramped up Friday because she was pushing so hard and at an awkward angle --and if Brad's boys would have a hard time getting there (after all they are male and will not stop to ask for directions). Every time I've asked the tech has told me that she sees nothing blocking my tubes so the roads should be clear for travel. I even asked if my tilted uterus would hinder things and was told no. When we first met with Dr. Ashurst he told us that he would not recommend moving to another treatment until he felt it was really time...I'm putting my trust in him --- but will continue to ask questions.

Brad and Adam are fishing a really big tournament right now and I am praying that they win. We could really really use the money at this point to take care of some bills we've but on the back burner and we would be able to put some back in case we have to have an IUI or something else done. After the weigh-in we will got to FL's for the rest of the weekend. For Christmas Brad and I gave her a certificate for a flowerbed in the back yard. This weekend she will get her present. Monday FL will go with me to Montgomery for my appointments and then swing thru Troy to get rabies shots...no, not for FL, she's already had her shots. And Monday afternoon I'll finally get to see Kelsi play softball. I hear she's pretty good. I'm sure I'll have plenty of pictures to post by Tuesday.

Y'all have a good weekend and keep praying for me, my follies, the meds, and everyone else who is having to travel this road too.

Same song, second verse

I had blood work and an u/s done Monday. Got the call Monday night and it looks just like last month. My follies on the left are about 5mm and about 7mm on the right. So at this point they would be riding the short bus to school (sorry if any of you had to ride it). I had already taken 50mg of Clomid days 3-7 so I started the Follistim shots Monday night. I'll take 50iu every night at least until Friday when I have my next appointment. At this point I am assuming that I'll also have to take the Ovidrel shot too but won't know for sure until later. It has already been order for me just in case. My estrogen level was around 70 which is decent at this point.
(left O)

Every time I have had an ultrasound done the tech has had a really hard time finding my right ovary. Apparently it likes to hide. She has found it behind my uterus and behind some of my colon before, but Monday's hiding place was the best. She kept telling me that something was in the way but never would say what it was. She finally broke down and told me...it's a gas bubble. How many of you just laughed so hard you snorted?!? I was able to keep myself composed until she left the room. And I've not even have eggs or beans in a while!

I'll let you know if I still have gas on Friday...

(elusive right O)

Now let me tell you how mean I can be -- Brad uses our back bathroom and I use the master bathroom. The laundry basket is in the master bathroom; the back bathroom is not big enough for a basket of its own. I have informed Brad on several occasions that I WILL NOT pick up dirty clothes from all over the house and if he wants something washed then he can either put it in the laundry basket or on top of the washing machine. And when I say from all over the house I mean all over. He will walk thru the house undressing and where it comes off is where it lays. I have found dirty underwear in the middle of the living room floor! Friday night I washed a load of clothes since I would not be home on the weekend. I washed all the clothes from the master bathroom. I did not do inventory on the clothes I washed. All I know is I washed them and dried them and sadly most of them are still waiting to be folded and put up. So last night I got all the clothes from the basket and put them on to wash just before bed and I will change them over when I get up. So this morning Brad asks me where some clean undies are. Can you guess where they are??? No, they are not in the living room or even in his bathroom. He had just put them in the basket Monday so all his underwear (at least 12 pair) were in the dryer, just starting to dry. Yes, I know I am sooo mean. I do not know if Brad broke down and wore his old whitey-tighties that he hunts in or if he went commando. I do know that from now on he will make sure he puts his underwear in the basket!

Aww...for me?

I have been given my first award. Thanks hun! Becky said on her blog that she gave it to me for being brave enough to blog about my journey. I think y'all are the brave ones for reading it.

Here is what I'm suppose to do:
1. Post the award on my blog, and link to the person who gave me the award.
2. List seven things I love.
3. List seven blogs I love.
4. E-mail or comment on those blogs to let the people know I've given them the award.

My 7 loves...
I love Brad for being hard on me when I need it but then turning around and letting me melt the next minute. He allows me to be me and most of you know that's not an easy task.
I love FL for being FL. She is my Mama and everything the title holds. I really love that I get my sense of humor from her -- who else can laugh so hard she pees in her pants and then laughs even harder about peeing in her pants?
I love my family, in-laws, out-laws and all in between. I love my relatives and those who have taught me that you don't have to be kin to someone to be family.
I love the outdoors. I grew up in the outdoors (even sometimes from inside the house-that's another post). If it's cool I'll be hunting and if it's warm I'll be on (or in) the water.
I love medical advancements. It wasn't too long ago that someone having trouble getting pregnant would have been told to just go home and take up needle-point or jazzercise.
I love music. There is rarely a time you will find me without some type of music in the background. And I have some from all genres, even a rap or two. Some people can't carry a tune in a buck but I can, it's just not a pretty tune.
I love knowing. Knowing that when all is said and done the Lord will take care of me. I mean, He has already provided me with my first 6 loves listed here.

My 7 loved blogs...
I have a problem here, I'm kinda new to blogging and don't really have seven. But here's my list -
Becky @ Five Mockingbirds (who has already been awarded) - I have to keep up with my Tuckers
Susan @ Griffies Growth - let's face it, who doesn't like to read what's going on with JonahClaire
Christy @ The Tates - she's got her hands full...and that's just with Brad
Ivy @ The Smith Family (who has already been awarded) - she's a new found friend - she still has that "new friend smell"
Jen @ 4tunate even though she has absolutely no idea I even exist - you have to admire any woman with quads that still has her sanity

i give up...

i have tried to post an update 3 times and my internet...aka swampnet...keeps getting disconnected. so tune in tomorrow for the update and to see my award. fyi-i have decided to do a background post so everyone reading who doesn't already know(guess that will be you ivy) will know a bit more about me. so if there are any story request please let me know. i'm off to get my shot...

breif update

looks like this month will be like last. i had an ultrasound tuesday and was told everthing looked normal for me. apparently i have a tilted uterus that no one has ever mentioned before. why did that shock me?! i started clomid lastnight...hotflashed about 10 mins ago. i have a doc appointment monday for another ultrasound to see if anything is growing. i was told today that odds are i will have to take the follistim shots and followup with an ovidrel shot.
we got brad's truck back today and it didn't cost an arm and a leg...just a few fingers and toes (i love a good buddy wisecrack!) oh i needed that laugh. anyway it was the bearings and our shadtree mechanic got it repaired in half the time and at a fourth of the price. i'm glad i still live in a place where people aren't afraid to get a little grease under their nails.

Peace in the Valley

Well, I'm tired and so weary

But I must go along...

There will be peace in the valley

For me, Oh Lord I pray

There'll be no sadness

No sorrow, no trouble I see

There will be peace

In the valley for me.

Yep, I'm in a valley. At least it's not a pit. Woke up before the crack of dawn Sunday morning to get ready for church. Ya know us Southern Baptist have to do the Easter sunrise service. Anyway, I had started. In that split second I went from "everything just might work out this month" to "are You kiddin me?!?" I know I shouldn't holler at the Lord, but I'll be honest and let you know I do. So when I hollered Brad comes running to see what's wrong. Y'all he didn't cry but he teared up. My big ole burly man teared up and that was all she wrote. I just wanted to crawl back in bed and cry myself back to sleep. The feeling still hasn't gone away.

Then last night on the way home I kept hearing a scrubbing sound from Brad's truck. We pulled over to make sure the tire wasn't going flat or anything was hung under it...nope. I even made him check to make sure the lugs were tight (nothing scarier than the front wheel of the tractor falling off while you're hauling hay - right Ashley?). We pulled under the barn at the in-law's and pulled the tire off. Apparently the ball bearings are going bad. Yea, I've got experience in that department too. So now we have to have them replaced.

I'm not looking for mountains right now. Above sea level would be great. At least some level ground.

The weekend wasn't a total bust. Thursday was great cause I got to see my Becky and her crew for a whole 15 minutes as they passed thru my neck of the woods. I was off Friday so it was ok. I did get the grass cut before it started raining and hailing. Saturday Brad and I went fishing BY OURSELVES which doesn't happen often. 95% of the time we have Adam, Brad's brother, aka our first born, with us. Then Sunday afternoon we (our family of 3) went back fishing after lunch with Mema and Papa Moore. With a few exceptions it was good weekend.

*congrats to Brad for his second turkey of the season*

Just waiting

Sorry to neglect my loyal readers (all 3 of you). Nothing has been going on except waiting. That's all we can do at this point. Wait, wait, and wait a little longer. At this point in the game you'd think I'd be used to it, but not really. The day can't come soon enough! I'm looking forward to when I can post some breaking news. Until then, keep praying.
Oh, I finally got a new cell phone. IT IS AWESOME! The LG Voyager Titanium. And I did get a protective cover even though they didn't have any made from Kevlar -- Brad asked.
Happy Easter to everyone. Hope the Easter Bunny is good to you. If he's not good to me that's ok...I like fried rabbit. :)

Where we stand

Machine came back up and Brenda called to let me know that my estrogen was at 770 (good) but the hormone that indicates ovulation was not there. So at 9:00 last night Brad and I were at Publix in Montgomery to get my Rx for Ovidrel. When talking to the pharmacist she told me that it worked with her...twice. I was advised that this shot does have a much higher risk for twins. Twins I can handle. Anything else...I'll sell them on ebay. (Just joking-I don't want any nasty emails). So that's where we stand -- I've taken Clomid for 5 days, Follistim for 4 days and now have had a shot of Ovidrel and was given instructions for "homework". Come on ovaries don't let me down now!